moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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