I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
