his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need a beard to bite.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
