so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
