Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
