Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
