Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
