she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
