Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
