oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
