yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
