i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
