Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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