Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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