What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
