we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
