i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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