Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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