Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
