you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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