Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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