I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i've created a new STD.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize