hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
what day is it and did you see me today?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
whose parrot is this?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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