i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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