i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
