Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
