Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
