I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize