I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
