I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My liver just had a heart attack.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize