Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
