I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize