My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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