How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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