You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
