I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
