Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How does one acquire holy water?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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