Sry I called you an 8
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
