did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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