Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
