3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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