Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
