Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
