Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Randomize
