i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Everyone says I win the strip club
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
