You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
