Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
