Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize