just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
