If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
