You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
