If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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