Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
