i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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