what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
