If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
